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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular. http://t.co/rJNCGU9GhH

38,980 Following   43,710,216 Followers   10,622 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08

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Happy #ThrowbackThursday! #TBT http://t.co/4pqmCbpXp2Thanks everyone who came to the Heads Up! Game Show contestant open call. If ya missed it, there’s another tomorrow! http://t.co/STgcDTG22sNothing smells better than a baby’s head. Apparently, nothing tastes better either. http://t.co/n6sBGzWX5N
I love this story. I love this girl. http://t.co/UhLySEVwZoHappy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/9EnGIqBmLTIf you’re in the L.A. area and you’re great at my game Heads Up!, this could be your lucky day. http://t.co/WX8bItzm5rIn all fairness, I’m pretty sure they can’t read. http://t.co/RCciOBX8uBWho wants a kitchen full of brand new @EnergyStar appliances? Raise your hand! Higher! Ok, maybe just enter here. http://t.co/VZqluT0vvs.@BethBehrs is getting ready for a big race. I wanted to make sure she was in tip-top shape. http://t.co/LgDHJfGq6b
I wonder if they're going to start showing this in health class. http://t.co/1YdcIT8Re3It’s crazy how much we look alike. http://t.co/VFG0dxDjzJI’ve scared so many people on my show this season, it’s frightening. http://t.co/SF4r6GJNDzCongrats to @iluvmarkiplier1, @glowmeister & @ofmorrison, the winners of my #RoadtripGames contest! Feel free to put this on your resume.Thanks for playing my #RoadtripGames hashtag challenge! I hope your trips were as thrilling as they sounded. http://t.co/TkokiT8n3TAll of me loves all of this. https://t.co/S8syUa3yBj
It’s #MemorialDay, so a lot of you are bored on a roadtrip right now. Tweet the dumbest thing you’ve done to stay entertained #RoadtripGame
I found some good things to bring to a barbeque this weekend. So, I put them on my Good Things Tumblr. Obviously. http://t.co/gV61JnCtX2I hope you get some time to kick back and relax this weekend. http://t.co/nw8Vi0KEqn http://t.co/S3d79rrrVH
Ireland did it! The 1st country to legalize marriage equality by popular vote, but they won't be the last! What an incredible accomplishment
Most 5-year-olds love Disneyland. Macey Hensley loves the Reagan Library. http://t.co/jPuqkN4Aqg.@Target is giving a billion dollars to support education. #ThanksABillion. I’m feeling smarter already. http://t.co/c0zYPyJdkj
I’ve got my #RedNose. I hope you do too. http://t.co/Gkb90THhimIt’s been an incredible season thanks to my partners at @Shutterfly who helped me bring so much joy to so many people http://t.co/ps9kVVYjRdI ❤️ @TylerOakley #TylerOnEllen http://t.co/cfVGv6aO6K
.@Letterman's final show starts in 15 minutes! East Coast, I hope you're watching. I know I am. #ThanksDaveTonight is David @Letterman’s final show. What a wonderful, inspiring, hilarious, groundbreaking, amazing ride. #ThanksDaveHappy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/SM0eu1UJz3Happy birthday, @TonyGoldwyn! You’re a man of so many talents - Actor. Director. President. Ghost.I gave my audience @So_Delicious ice cream. It’s so delicious! I just got why they call it that. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/wtBpdFLBWQI love ya. And I know I’m not the only one. https://t.co/F5oi7pnNXG#JustKeepDancing https://t.co/oE7LYJqYMyThere are some really adorable things in the Ellen Shop right now. Babies not included. http://t.co/HDBOosvc6J http://t.co/Q3i8BICYXjHappy birthday to the two people responsible for making me the woman I am today, my mama and @Cher.
Come back anytime. Preferably without a shirt. https://t.co/9qJ29abf6KHappy birthday, @SamSmithWorld! http://t.co/2g1Y7byYwECongrats @MelissaMcCarthy! I was happy to honor you at your new star, & to be the 1st person to scrape gum off it. http://t.co/VfDOUFxUkJThank a teacher & help @Target give $1 billion to education. That’s just shy of a bajillion. Wow. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/c0zYPyJdkjI Loni Love when you’re here. https://t.co/pFZEd8y82R.@ZacEfron brought me the trailer for his new movie, “We Are Your Friends.” I’m sharing it because You Are My Friends http://t.co/msVcMfiMHmJust tagged u in this awesome cause! #JustKeepDancing #ellenshow Lets see your moves! 🎉@Sam4nd @Culligan27 @shaycarl http://t.co/Zo5MailFOW
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresThanks for tweeting me your best #CollegeLies! The good news is, you won’t need any of these in the real world. http://t.co/hNALrmJ83nCongrats @okayitskristina, @MattTed4d & @JennyFuce! You’re the winners of my #CollegeLies hashtag contest. It’s almost as good as a diploma.Are you starting a peanut farm? https://t.co/0xPyLt3SWHI've waited a long time to introduce you to http://t.co/FHnZxjbwQN. Find out about my new collection, ED! #EDbyEllen http://t.co/sjnZut69OV
You graduates have learned so much. What’s the biggest lie you told in college? Tweet it and you could win my hashtag contest! #CollegeLies.@AllisonHolker is in the #DWTS finals! She’s married to my friend, @official_tWitch! Vote for her! She’s incredible! http://t.co/UEAtgaxtuNI’m blown away by the videos inspiring kids to #JustkeepDancing thru cancer. Make 1. Challenge someone to do the same http://t.co/CyUqOabMwnBarack Obama has his own Twitter account. He hasn’t asked for followers yet because he probably doesn’t want to @POTUS on the spot.Spelling a name right on a coffee cup is hard to do, or my name’s not Hellen DinnerGenius. http://t.co/A1p0oa1VhJ http://t.co/aZMVkJ674iHappy birthday, Tina Fey! Thank you for being hilarious, and smart, and for bringing back that sexy librarian look.Someone who dances their socks off could win $10,000 from @GoldToe! That’s a lotta gold. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/l6dHFqQiYn
Who knew the First Lady could sing? Check out @BellamyYoung's new album. http://t.co/3UNyuaRHEWMy perfect Saturday. http://t.co/hkhGxqhdpW
You’ll never forget where you were when you first saw Balang. http://t.co/f25iTB3WQIWhat did one eye say to the other? Don’t look now, but something between us smells. #ClassicJokeFridayBraylon inspires people to #JustKeepDancing. I challenge you to do the same. Make a video & challenge your friends. https://t.co/4GktTW0aOyI wouldn’t miss it for the world. https://t.co/rfdxi9dy92Guy says to a librarian “I’ll have the soup.” She says “You know you’re in a library?” He whispers “I’ll have the soup.” #ClassicJokeFriday#BBKing. What an amazing talent. What an amazing life. What an amazing legacy.
Thank you @shondarhimes. Thank you @ScandalABC I can't wait to start season 5!! https://t.co/hYLTW5A8Ec
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresWho wants Rock in Rio tix this wknd in Vegas? See my friends @TaylorSwift13,@BrunoMars & Carla my blackjack dealer. http://t.co/u4QIbPr05zHappy #ThrowbackThursday! http://t.co/hbSIVpEcrlCarlotta Brown got one of the biggest surprises I’ve ever given away. If only it could be as big as her heart is. http://t.co/VlUSDZiGjJSay thanks a billion to teachers! Visit http://t.co/c0zYPyJdkj & thank a teacher. @Target will give $25 to their school! Seriously. Do it.Happy Bday Mark Zuckerberg, George Lucas & @ClayMatthews52! Hope ya have a great day on the field, on Facebook, or in a galaxy far far awayNo lap too small. http://t.co/Z1VBbob3iU
I’m so proud of my wife, @PortiaDeRossi. Watch her video & all the @It_Got_Better videos here. http://t.co/z8ztB6GWXn http://t.co/Ra71Oj9se1Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday! http://t.co/opGk1r2OYNHarriet Tubman won the poll as the woman to put on the $20! It’s not official, but until it is, I’m gonna draw her face on any bill I find.I found a great way to get your kids protected from the sun. Pure Sun Defense’s way is good, too. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/fXJVBqHXVhOnly thing better than @AllisonHolker & @Official_tWitch dancin is them dancin together. @GoldToe #LaughDancePartner https://t.co/4rIVA7EdEGI hope you brought a helmet. https://t.co/bifA0QbYlCHappy 29th birthday, @LenaDunham! Before you know it, you’ll be changing the name of your show to “Women.”Sending love to one of my favorite cities — Philadelphia.
Look at all the people who showed up at @Dicks! Thanks everyone who was there. You were wonderful #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/BdrnQMAHezHere are some of my favorite tweets from my first-ever hashtag contest. #BadMothersDay http://t.co/4n1Y1vPlap.@AnnaKendrick47 is hilarious, so I challenged her to a round of “Oh Caption, My Caption.” http://t.co/F9CT3qB47oCongrats, @wheresvanessa95, @carolineR426 & @maddy_carlin on winning my #BadMothersDay contest. Now please get your mother something nice.This morning I had a bran muffin. It may have been blueberry. It was like a blueberry muffin without berries. & a glaze. It was a cupcake.
It’s time for my first hashtag contest! What’s the worst Mother’s Day gift you’ve ever given or received? #BadMothersDayThis mom got a big surprise that her whole family is gonna love. Thanks, @Houzz! #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/ajSWKZNhZ0Are you a whiz at my game @HeadsUp!? you could win $10K on the Heads Up! Game Show! If you’re near L.A., let me know! http://t.co/9HZwA1rHpRIt’s time to be on TV, @SFSU! Come on, ladies! Get over to @Dicks and don’t forget your balls! You heard me.If you’re excited about #PitchPerfect2, you’re gonna love the new @PitchPerfect deck in HeadsUp! #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/4Ptf1PtCMN2pm is almost here! Get over to the @Dicks Sporting Goods in Daly City, CA, and bring a ball with your favorite emoji drawn on it!I hope you’re ready for some fun. Get over to the @Dicks Sporting Goods in the Serramonte Center in Daly City, CA, by 2pm!Hey @SFSU, I hope you’re ready because something big is happening TODAY. I hope you’re feeling Sporty. #SFSUonEllen
Happy birthday, Bono. I wanted to get you the perfect present, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.This tweet is for all the amazing moms. I hope you get a kick out of these cards. http://t.co/5tY7WH6b9DHappy Yo Mama’s Day! http://t.co/36NDQwXgRW
If you go to @SFSU, make sure you’re following me on Twitter. This Monday you’re in for a tweet. Go Gators!
Hey, Daly City, CA! I hope you get a lot of rest this weekend because on Monday you’re gonna have a chance to be on my show. @SFSU.@Mark_Wahlberg is on my Mother’s Day show today and he has a message for you. http://t.co/4VyfRPIpE1Check out all the gifts from my Mother's Day show. And then enter to win 'em! http://t.co/hglx21Een7 http://t.co/r7t9TmxhpD.@Huggies and @Target have a gift for all you moms. Get yours here. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/iHt196yv22 http://t.co/eG8wepqXpQMom, you are beautiful. http://t.co/O6lp11vRGZ
Here’s a commercial to make you cry at the DMV or in line at Chipotle. I don’t know what you do with your life. http://t.co/hYHvm2A5OkHappy #ThrowbackThursday! #TBT http://t.co/7mPc2HPyhOCongrats to the @HuffingtonPost on 10 incredible years of reporting the news & making me feel embarrassed by my “Suggested For You” section.My brand, ED, is collaborating with GAP Kids! Perhaps you’ve heard of them. http://t.co/6djEfVQtqU
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